Well hello there Super-Knocked Uppers (is that really what I’m supposed to call you?)! Michael Masters, aka your friendly neighborhood Captain Amazing, here! Ok, that’s not really my tagline. I stole that from another superhero. Arachnid Kid or something like that. Some little boy who swings around the city with some gooey stuff. Totally not my thing, by the way.
Anyway, Mark and Jeff asked me to drop by and contribute to Super Blogged Up, so I thought I’d take some time out of my busy day of saving old ladies and picking up young ones to give a quick shout out to everyone here and give you my take on the story of me and Darkstar. I know you’ve all been waiting quite awhile for the the series to hit (and no – my superhero powers don’t include being able to make Jeff edit any faster!), so I won’t divulge TOO MUCH information, don’t worry!
When Jeff first approached me to ask me if he could turn my life story (ok, not my LIFE story, but PART of my life story) into a movie, I said “Absolutely, but make sure you get someone the size of Vin Diesel to play me.” I requested Vin Diesel because, even though he’s quite a bit smaller than I am, he’s got the same kind of body shape, although his face is nowhere near as handsome as mine.
Two weeks later Jeff came to me and said “I’ve found the perfect Michael Masters.” “Where?”, I replied. “Right next to me,” answered Jeff. Only there was no one next to Mr. Burns. After shrugging and laughing at his ruse, suddenly a small voice called out: “Here, Mr. Amazing.” I looked down to see the shortest, scrawniest little Italian my heroic eyes had ever laid witness to. “HIM?,” I cried. Jeff saw the look of dismay in my face. “He’s a weakling, but he can act, I assure you.” And although I had never worked with this Upstate Independents director (I hear people address him as “Mein Fuhrer” on set? Buncha savages in this town), I completely trusted him. Besides, I figured Jeff’s special effects guy could buff this actor (whose name is Mark Pezzula, by the way. Watch out for him, he’s gonna be huge someday) up digitally.
Then it was time to meet the woman portraying Jessica James, my arch-nemesis and (so they say) the love of my life. That’s when I was introduced to Natalie Bain. Miss Bain is, for lack of any other word, luminescent. A true beauty, inside and out. And, may I add, one of the darned funniest females I have ever met. Funniest females – what am I saying? She’s one of the funniest PEOPLE I’ve ever met. Period. And one of the prettiest. May I add she’s luminescent. Did I already write that? Whoops! That’s embarrassing! Hold on, Jessica’s looking over my shoulder reading this. Be right back…
…sorry about that folks. I should probably add that my relationship on set with Miss Bain was one of strict professionalism, and that everything I wrote in that previous paragraph was simply public relations and promotion to get you to want to watch the series. And I’m being told to tell you that Natalie Bain is slightly above average looking, but nowhere near as gorgeous as someone standing right behind me whose name begins with a J.
After meeting the two leads, I had the pleasure of talking with most of the supporting cast and everyone from the crew. All seem like folks at the top of their game. I know literally nothing about film production (but a lot about everything else – that’s just the way I am), but I can assure you my story (OUR story – Jessica) is in good hands.
Well, that’s about it, folks. I hope you enjoyed my first blog post (to paraphrase Paul Sorvino in Goodfellas “I broke my cherry!” Yes, superheroes watch movies too). Somewhere there’s a baby crying in a burning building and I’m afraid Arachnid Kid might screw up the rescue, so I’m off to show him how it’s done. I hope that idiot that dressed up like a bat doesn’t try to come and steal my thunder. He’s such an a**hole.