Hey all you Super Blogged-uppers, hope the past few weeks have been good to you all. We’re getting closer and closer to the world premiere of Super Knocked Up here on the interwebs, and as anticipation builds, we hope you’re as excited to watch the show as we are to have you watch it.
To start this blog off I want to ask the male readers in the audience here a question: how many of you like makin’ out with girls (or A girl, if you have a significant other). Okay, I see all of you have raised your hands. Except that guy right there. Who’s that? Oh, it’s director Jeff Burns. Interesting. Anyway, I have another question for you guys: how many of you like makin’ out with HOT girls? Again, all of you except for Mr. Burns. Who DOES that guy like to make out with? Wookies? Oh…ok. Wookies it is. Sorry man, didn’t mean to offend you. I guess Wookies are kind of cute. If you like hair.
Anyway, I asked that question because I, too, enjoy a bit of the ol’ make out sesh with the opposite sex. Except when it’s in front of a group of people. On a 90 degree film set. With a camera two feet from our meshed-together lips capturing every bead of sweat on our make-up caked faces. Yeah. It’s about as sexy as it sounds. I put that horrible image in your head because that’s exactly what you would have seen on the set of SKU a few weeks ago, should you have been unlucky enough to walk in on a take. (And if you’re walking in on a take – what the hell are you doing at my apartment without knocking? And we’re trying to shoot here, you moron!)
The scene in question is going to be some extra footage for you folks to enjoy, not part of the series itself. It involves an interview between me (as Captain Amazing) and the lovely Daniela Maleve (who plays reporter Darcy Danger). Darcy begins the interview as professional as possible, but then her insatiable attraction to Captain Amazing becomes too much for her to handle and, when the segment returns to the two characters after a cut-away to some man-on-the-street footage, the Captain and Miss Danger are intertwined in some light sexy-time
Now, you think it’d be easy to act such a scene out. After all, I’m a professional (ok, maybe not. Maybe like a sub-sub-(sub-sub) professional) and so is Daniela (seriously, she is). Fact is, though, no matter how professional the people involved are, no matter how many reassurances you receive from the director, no matter how many mints you get from the script girl, no matter how many people on set tell you that they want to keep the footage for their “personal files” (creeps), doing anything sexual with an actor is nerve-wracking as hell.
Maybe it was because it was the first time in my 30 years that I was going to lock-lips with a female, or maybe it was because I couldn’t stop belching up the turkey bacon I had eaten for dinner, but the stomach butterflies were in full effect that morning. We ran through the scene a few times without the kiss, but, eventually the time came. We finished our lines right before it, then BAM! Daniela and I slammed our faces together like two male rams head-butting each other over a potential mate. We had decided to play the make-out for laughs, so we groped exaggeratingly and mushed noses while making odd grunting sounds. “CUT!”, yelled Jeff. We were done. It was over. Or so we thought.
As how it is with every other type of scene, we had to do multiple takes of the kiss. With each take it became less awkward (although I really didn’t know where to put my hands – Daniela herself mentioned her chesticles, but I’m a gentleman. I only grope a woman’s breasts in a crowded area, when she can’t tell who’s doing it), and by the time we finished I felt like I could make out with Daniela all day. KIDDING! DON’T KILL ME DANIELA’S HUSBAND, PLEASE DON’T!
Anyway, the moral of the story is…well I don’t rightly know actually. Think before you accept a role where you’ll have to kiss someone? Yeah, maybe that’s it…
’til next time: stay Super Knocked Up, Super Blogged Uppers!