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Monthly Archives: December 2010

Superhero New Year’s Resolutions

Hey all! Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday :) With the New Year only a few days away, we thought it’d be fun to think about what some famous superheroes and villains would have as their New Year’s resolutions. So without further ado:

Superhero Resolutions

Superman – Spend the whole day with Lois without flying off to save someone

Batman – Try to smile at least once during the year

Wonder Woman – Use golden lasso on Batman to make him admit he has the hots for me

Spider-Man – Stop having so many girlfriend problems (Ultimate Spider-Man)

Johnny Storm (The Human Torch) – Hook up with even more hot women than last year

Sue Storm (Invisible Woman) – Hide all of Reed’s books and scientific gizmos so he’ll be forced to have a romantic dinner with me

Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) – Come up with the most amazing invention ever created. Again.

Doctor Doom – Design more stylish and light-weight armor

Black Cat – Get an even more skintight uniform

Lois Lane – Find the most amazing spell checker program ever

Supergirl – Find a nice guy who isn’t afraid to date a super-hot alien chick who could crush him with her pinkie

Deadpool – Come up with even funnier one-liners

Dr. Drakken (for you Kim Possible fans) – Devise plan to get rid of that insufferable Kim Possible. But this time it will work!

Kick-Ass – Don’t get my ass kicked as much

Professor X – Get head waxed

Wolverine – Stop attending parties where people want to use my claws to serve shish-ka-bobs

Gambit – Learn how to charge something with energy other than a playing card

Rogue – Plant a big wet one on Gambit. Again.

Storm – Refuse to give weather forecasts when other X-Men ask every morning

The Hulk – SMASH THINGS!

Happy New Year everyone! And we hope your resolutions come to fruition :)

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Best Superhero Movie Scenes Ever!

Hey Mark, what should we write about for this week’s blog?

Well Jeff, how bout we each talk about some of our favorite scenes from superhero movies?

Wow, that’s a great idea!  You’re a genius.

Thanks.  I know.

So folks, below you’ll find some of the scenes we find most exciting or kick-ass or whatever.  There are some SPOILERS in some of the descriptions, but we’ve separated each film description, so if it’s a film you haven’t seen yet, you can just skip that section of the post and go on to the next :)

Jeff’s Picks

X-Men 3: The Last Stand

I know a lot of people don’t like this film.  Though I don’t really know why, because I think it’s fantastic.  And there’s one scene that really blew me away when I saw it in the theater and has stuck with me ever since.

Jean Grey was thought to be killed in X-Men 2.  But, ha ha, you can’t kill her.  She resurfaces (pun intended for those of you who’ve seen it) in the third movie and proceeds to kill the love of her  life, Scott Summers.  Wow, don’t get on this chick’s bad side :)  A little after that in the X-Men headquarters infirmary-type room, she lip locks with Logan (Wolverine) and tries to rip his clothes off.  But he stops her in the middle of the make-out session (c’mon Logan, what’s wrong with you), realizing something isn’t right with her (psst, it’s the Dark Phoenix taking over her, but shhh, don’t tell anyone).  She tosses Logan around like a rag doll and escapes.

And then comes the scene that freakin’ really rocks.  Professor X and Magneto both go to Jean’s childhood home.  Inside, the Prof tries to convince Jean that he can help her with her crazy Phoenix powers and wants to take her back to her X-Men family.  Magneto, the wily villain that he is, tells Jean baldy just wants to control her and she should let loose with her powers.  Well, let loose she does.  Her telekinetic powers go into overdrive creating a vortex of objects flying through the air.  In the middle of it all, Jean and Professor X square off in a battle of mental powers.  And while this is going on, Wolverine and Storm are battling Magneto’s henchmen in the house, which by the way, is floating in the air thanks to Jean’s powers.  The way director Brett Ratner films this scene, seeing the awesome full power of Jean’s abilities, watching Professor X trying to withstand the onslaught, it’s nothing short of a visual masterpiece.  And then (big spoiler warning) watching her obliterate Professor X into a million pieces of dust is visually incredible but also heartbreaking.  Even more so when this amazingly heightened action scene turns very simple and quiet at the end with Logan and Storm crying on the floor next to Professor X’s empty wheelchair.  A poignant end to a very powerful scene.

Spider-Man 2

Most people really enjoyed this film.  And I absolutely agree it’s a great movie!  The scene that stands out for me is when Spidey chases Doc Ock through the streets of New York.  The chase ends with a runaway train/elevated subway about to run out of track, which would result in the deaths of all the passengers on board.  Spider-Man, being the awesome hero that he is, swings in front of the train and uses all his strength to try and stop it.  And he finally does, just before it reaches the last bit of track.  But he used every fiber of strength and energy to do it.  He passes out and plunges forward, about to plummet to his death.

But then hands reach out from inside the train and catch him.  And pull him back.  It’s the passengers inside!  They carefully pass him back and rest him on the floor.  His mask is off.  They can’t believe he’s just a kid.  Doc Ock shows up, ready to finally discover Spider-Man’s secret identity and capture him.  But then one New Yorker steps in front of the unconscious Spidey, blocking Doc Ock.  Then another.  And another.  Until the whole train of pedestrians form a wall, their actions telling Doc Ock: you’re not taking him.  And then Doc Ock swats them aside and takes Spider-Man anyway.

But the point is that director Sam Raimi does a fantastic job in this scene of showing ordinary people showing tremendous courage and protecting a superhero when he’s the one who needs saving.  And I think that’s freakin’ awesome!  Raimi also does it in the first Spider-Man with people throwing stones and crap at the Green Goblin when Spidey’s in trouble.  This isn’t something you see too often in superhero comics or movies.  It’s usually the hero who does all the saving, not regular people.  So big props to all the writers and Raimi for doing such a great job with these scenes :)

Iron Man 2

The last one I’ll talk about (and I could talk about a lot more, but then we’d be here all day) is the recent Iron Man sequel.  Again, another movie I really liked a lot.  The scene that’s just totally kick-ass is near the end when Black Widow, played by the holy shit she looks so freakin’ amazing in that black skintight suit Scarlett Johansson, breaks into a facility and takes on a whole bunch of guards.  Here’s the thing: I love action movies and martial arts movies, so I’ve seen a ton of amazing fight scenes in movies.  But I gotta say, the Black Widow fight scene in Iron Man 2 is one of the most amazing fight scenes I’ve seen in any movie.  Ever.  It is off the hook super-fly good (yeah, that’s right, I used super-fly because apparently I think it’s the 80s – well I did just see Tron: Legacy so maybe that’s why).

The acrobatics tied in with martial arts and takedowns are so incredibly well choreographed my mouth was just hanging open watching it.  And I mean from the amazing stunts, not from the super-hotness of Scarlett Johansson.  Though maybe it was a little bit of that too :)

Now on to Mark’s picks.  And as I am just now looking at what Mark sent me, I see he decided to be lazy and post video of the scene clips while I actually took time to write about them.  Well fine Mark, have it your way.  I’ll leave your stupid scenes in.  Just kidding folks :)

Mark’s Picks

I should note that, like I’ve previously mentioned in another post, I’m incredibly ignorant when it comes to superheroes and comic books in general. Therefore, my favorite superhero movies don’t have anything to do with how closely they follow the mythos of the original character or whether or not they clung closely to any one story arc. The following scenes were chosen based on how well they worked in the movies they are in. Pretty simple.

First up: “The Birth of Doc Ock”, Spider-Man 2.

I have to be honest and say the first Spider-Man film almost bores me to tears. It’s not a bad film by any means, but I left the theater largely indifferent to it on my first viewing, and I’ve only seen bits and pieces of it on television since it was released almost 10 years ago. The second movie, though, is a huge improvement, and this scene is one of the reasons why. It’s a scene that hearkens back to a side of Sam Raimi that we really hadn’t seen since Army of Darkness (and wouldn’t see again until Drag Me to Hell). It also captures everything you need to know about Dr. Otto Octavius’s predicament: he doesn’t want these machine-metal tentacles, but he’ll utilize them to his advantage. It’s a fun scene that furthers story and character in a unique way, and that’s why it’s on my list.

“The Penguin Mayor”, Batman Returns.

Here’s a few minutes from my favorite Batman movie. No, not The Dark Knight. Batman Returns. Sorry, Nolan fans. I love both Batman Begins and TDK, but neither of those films tickle my bat-sh*t crazy bone like Tim Burton’s follow-up to his 1989 smash hit. There’s so much insanity to love in Returns that it was hard for me to pick a scene, but after sifting through YouTube clips I found one that pretty much captures why I dig this film so much. Over-the-top acting by Danny DeVito? Check. (He plays A MAN WHO THINKS HE’S A PENGUIN for crying out loud). Christopher Walken being Christopher Walken-y? Check. Jan Hooks? Check. This scene is quotable in the cheesiest of fashion (“I’d like to fill her void.” “Stop global warming, start global cooling. Make the world a giant ice box!” and, of course, “Burn baby burn!”), and is injected with a dark, left-of-center humor that is sadly missing from Nolan’s oh-so-serious take on the Batman universe.

Unfortunately whoever uploaded the video to YouTube disabled the embed feature on the clip. So you’ll have to go here to watch it.

“Hit Girl Rescue”, Kick-Ass (SPOILER ALERT)

From the looks on the faces of Red Mist and his pops that opens the clip to the thirteen year old girl spouting M-Effer at the end of it, this scene from my favorite superhero film of 2010 never fails to make me smile. Not only does director Matthew Vaughn switch slickly between a few different styles of action filmmaking, it also features Nick “Crazy” Cage’s deranged Big Daddy character screaming out kill orders to his daughter WHILST ON FIRE. Lastly, it makes great use of John Murphy’s “Surface of the Sun” theme from the movie Sunshine which, to be hones, automatically makes any scene it’s in that much better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LQgAU0JBDg

So there you have it folks.  Just a few of our favorite superhero scenes.  Feel free to share your favorites in the comment space below :)  We’d love to hear them!

Mark and I also want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas!  Thanks so much for reading :)

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What to do with My New Superpowers?

Hey all you Super Blogged Up followers. We’re doing something different this week. Two weeks ago, Mark invited our readers to send in their superhero-related blog posts, which we’d feature on the site. And today marks our first fan post from Mathew L. Cantore, who sent us a cool fictional account of getting superpowers and what he’d do with them. Or maybe it’s not fictional. Hmm? Enjoy!

Oh, and if you’d like to see your words featured on our blog (it can be anything dealing with superheroes, villains, comics, etc.), e-mail us at superknockedup@yahoo.com Thanks! And big thanks to Mathew!

And be sure to check us out at www.facebook.com/superknockedup :)

Jeff

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The Coolest Superpower

It’s odd that Jeff asked me about 5 months ago if I’d like to play the part of Captain Amazing, a superhero with otherworldly powers comparable to those of Superman, and I haven’t once thought about what super powers I myself would like to be bestowed with, should I ever wake up in some gonzo universe where that kind of magic could happen. I decided that in this gonzo universe, each of us is given only one specific superhero trait (a la X-Men), and after much deliberation I realized it’s a lot harder than I thought to decide what trait I believe would benefit my alt-world superhero the most.

I started with the most obvious: super-strength. The thought of swinging a redwood tree to bat away the armies of my enemy brings a demented smile to my face, but then that was quickly replaced with the image of being swallowed by some Galactus-esque alien and having to fight my way out of its digestive tract to get to safety. To be honest, I’d rather be eaten alive by the acidic stomach juices of an intergalactic planet-swallower than have to punch my way through its lower intestine and, possibly, its stinky colon. So I quickly scratched the super-strength.

Next I settled on flying. Certainly the ability to lift oneself up in the air thousands of feet and blast off to whatever destination one chooses should be the ultimate super-power, right? Wrong. After some thought I reasoned that flying, while most likely a freeing and aesthetically pleasing power, serves very little practical purpose. Sure I could up and get away whenever danger encroached upon me, but sooner or later I’d have to chose fight over flight, and there’s only so long I could zip around my nemesis’s head until he or she swatted me down like a house fly.

I then moved on to invisibility. Ah-ha! I had found it! The ultimate superpower. With no one able to see me, I could sneak into villainous laboratories and sabotage vile experiments, listen in on Earth-destroying conspiracies, and spy on my newspaper reporter girlfriend unnoticed – to make sure she’s not having a fling with the editor, of course. But the world of unchecked spying, sabotaging, and peeping-Tom-ing I had envisioned in my head was soon darkened by the nightmarish fantasy of myself walking across a busy street when, after forgetting to turn my invisibility off, I’m struck by an oncoming Mini Cooper. Being invisible, the driver speeds off, wondering what the object was that struck his vehicle, and I’m left in the middle of the road with a severed spine and no way to yell out for help, as when I landed on my head the blow disabled the part of my brain that tells the vocal chords how to form words. The final hours of my life are spent limply on the cold concrete, with my groans of pain mistaken by passersby as the howls of Old Man Winter’s dying December breath.

So my mind had failed me thinking of these three superpowers, and I was about to give up and write some other boring concoction of a blog when it hit me: time travel. “Thatsa Bingo!”, as Hans Landa would exclaim. Not so fast, though, Landa. I had to mull this over for a few before deciding on something wielded by the likes of Jake Gyllenhaal. After careful contemplation, my mind was made up. Time travel offers unlimited possibilities in aiding superhero crime fighting abilities, even if given a limit of, say, ten seconds. Ten seconds is enough time to knock the bad guy out before he pushes the “World Destruct” button. It’s enough time to grab the little boy by the back of the shirt before he goes tumbling down those escalator steps you told him not to fool around on. And it’s certainly enough time to make an escape from your newspaper reporter girlfriend’s bedroom should she catch you making sure she’s not hanky-pankying her editor.

There you have it, folks. I’m sure sometime later this evening my mind will create a scenario where my time traveling super power backfires – maybe I use it to change up my Denny’s order from the All-American Slam to Moons Over My-Hammy and the ham is bad, poisoning me and leaving my stomach full of holes, forcing me to drink all future meals through a straw. Anyway, for now it seems like a pretty good idea. So yeah. I’ll stick with it.

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